I'm a Momma again!!!

I'm a Momma again!!!!  Three years ago, our collie Heidi died.  Tim & I both decided finally it was time to get a collie again.  Her name is Freya.  She is a good puppy, well as far as puppies go.  She is rather well behaved, but still gets in trouble.

I've been working two part-time jobs, both are relatively close to home.  We figured that for the first month I could go home for lunch to give the puppy potty breaks.  She has done really well, she can now hold it all day so that I could work full time.

I am looking for either another part-time job to go with the two I have, or one full time job.  I'm fine with having another part-time job as I do enjoy the two places I work at.

My daughter currently lives in Illinois, with her boyfriend.  I have two beautiful granddaughters.  I just wish I could see them more often than once or twice a year.

I am approaching the big 5-0 in a few months, it just doesn't seem possible.  I still feel like I am in my 30's, well mentally anyway.  My body feels like it is 50 or more.  I am noticing more symptoms of menopause every year.  My memory is having issues, my legs heat up in the evening, I have trouble sleeping & my eyesight is continually getting worse.  Parts of this really suck.  But then I hear of a woman who has worse symptoms and am thankful that mine are not so bad.

Overall, life is pretty good.  I just seem to feel bored.  Not sure why, but I am working on getting the ambition to start quilting & sewing.  I just don't have the confidence of using the machine, I haven't even threaded the needle yet.  I used my mom's machine when I was 13 or 14 and almost ruined it.  I've been scared of using one since.  I've watched other people use them, they make it look easy.  I just know that I have a problem with the co-ordination.  That is also why I tried to get a Motorcycle endorsement, but decided that I should just quit trying.  I came to the realization that it was for the safety of myself & others that I should not get my Motorcycle endorsement.  We sold the motorcycle my hubby had bought for me after I decided.  I enjoy being on the back of his motorcycle and I didn't want the stress of driving.  I'm happy I decided this.  I am not a quitter, just being sensible.

 

It is not fair what some children have to live thru

We just found out about my step daughter, she was manipulated by someone we trusted and forced to have sex with, someone who said he would look out for her because she is his little sister. Now my step daughter is even more messed up emotionally. She has been raped at least 5 times by 5 different guys, most were strangers. This big brother knew about the rapes & still manipulated her into letting him have his way with her. We trusted him and treated him as a son, he was a step son from my husband's second marriage, but I treated him like family & accepted him too.
Now Tim & I feel like someone has stabbed us in the back!
I feel that Jami has seen all the worst qualities in people and had all these terrible experiences and will never know what "normal childhood" is.
I know there are other girls out there that have been raped, I know there are girls who grew up sexually molested by a family member. But usually there is only ONE abuse.
She has been violated and doesn't know what to expect next. She just doesn't try to think about it, she pushes the memories away. She has been in counseling, but needs more. I am calling to get her an appointment today. Tim & I just don't know how to help her deal with what she has been through.

Wow, alot has happened since I blogged last.

First, we made a commercial last summer.

Next, I've been busy going to school, almost have my associates degree! Yeah!

Earlier this week, we had rain, I saw several Bald Eagles, here is a few pictures. I didn't have the better camera, so they are not the best pictures, but I was really excited to see them.
Right now, we have at least a foot of snow & blizzard type winds. Yuck, I hate Michigan at times.

I love the smell of springtime in the air!

Here are some pictures of our tree in blossom and some of the flowers around our house. The pictures of the Iris were taken at my brother's house.

Biking made fun again!

Tim & I bought ourselves recumbent tricycles. We love them. The only thing that is sore is my knees. :)

Mayfaire 2007

Tim, Jami, Keegan & I all went to Marshall Michigan to the Mayfaire Renaissance Faire on Memorial Day. We all had a blast!

Human sexuality

I don't understand why people are made to feel bad about having sex. Why? It is a natural thing. Everybody does it. Even your parents. Almost everyone I know & have talked to about this, cannot image or think about their parents having sex. I think it's great to hear that my parents still have sex (they have been married 42 years). Is there a maturity that allows you to feel comfortable that everyone has sex & that it is natural? I have been thinking alot about this. I want to know why some people have a higher sex drive than others...is it psychological? I work with a woman who was made to have sex with her husband every single day(whether she was sick or had a migraine or her period) for their entire 18 years of marriage. She is now divorced. She does not enjoy sex at all. But she would like to want to have sex with her boyfriend. She is still having issues with it because of the abuse.
Almost all the women I work with seem to have very low sex drives. Why do women have low sex drives? I don't understand because I have a very high sex drive.
Is there something wrong with me? Am I not normal?
I will admit, I am NOT normal. I am a very weird woman. I have never been normal. I don't believe there is a "normal" person. We are all unique. But I can't help but compare myself to these other women. Why can't I find another woman who has a high sex drive like me?
Maybe it is because I was a late bloomer? I was 33 the first time I had sex.
Does anyone know if there has been a study done correlating the age they first had sex with their sex drive?
Sometimes I think I have a higher sex drive than my husband. The stereotype of men is that they have really high sex drives. But this is not true of all men, or at least not all the time. I have to be careful not to take it personally when he doesn't want to have sex, sometimes I feel very rejected.